We’ve all heard the phrase: “Fake it until you make it.” While it’s often tossed around as motivational advice, I’ve never been entirely convinced that it was particularly good advice. After all, pretending to be something you’re not sounds like a recipe for frustration or disappointment. However, when it comes to happiness, recent research suggests that “faking it” might actually work — and not in the way you might expect.
As it turns out, the brain doesn’t know the difference between synthesized happiness and genuine, spontaneous happiness. In other words, when you tell yourself you are happy, your brain believes you. It reacts as though you’re genuinely happy, even if you’re not feeling that way deep down. According to Dan Gilbert, in his TED Talk “The Surprising Science of Happiness,” there’s even evidence that the brain may prefer synthesized happiness over the real thing. What does this mean for us? Let’s dive deeper into how this works and why you might want to start “faking” your happiness — and how that could lead to the real deal.
Synthesized Happiness vs. Genuine Happiness
Before we go further, let’s clarify what we mean by synthesized happiness. Synthesized happiness is the happiness we generate in response to life’s circumstances. It’s the ability to feel contentment, even when things don’t go the way we planned. Genuine happiness, on the other hand, is often thought of as the happiness that comes naturally, when everything is going right.
But here’s the interesting part: the brain doesn’t differentiate between the two. When you actively try to be happy — even if you’re “faking it” at first — your brain believes the signals you’re sending. Your body releases the same chemicals and responds in the same way as if you were naturally experiencing joy. In this way, synthesized happiness can be just as real and impactful as spontaneous happiness. This means that if you tell yourself you’re happy, your brain starts to believe it.
The Science Backs It Up
Dan Gilbert’s research, along with other studies in positive psychology, reveals that the brain is more flexible than we think. It can be trained to experience happiness, even when external circumstances aren’t perfect. This is where the idea of “fake it and you have made it” comes into play.
According to research in psychology, happiness is 50% nature and 50% nurture. This means that while about half of your happiness level is determined by your genes, the other half is determined by your actions, behaviors, and mindset. You have a 50% opportunity to improve your happiness based on how you choose to live your life. This is an incredibly empowering realization — it means you have a significant degree of control over your emotional well-being.
What Abraham Lincoln Knew 150 Years Ago
As Abraham Lincoln said more than 150 years ago, “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” This quote may have seemed like a simple observation at the time, but modern science has backed it up with hard data. Your happiness is directly related to the effort you put into it. The idea that happiness is largely a result of mindset is supported by numerous studies in the field of positive psychology.
Happiness isn’t something that just happens to us; it’s something we can cultivate. By focusing on gratitude, practicing mindfulness, and actively working to shift our perspective, we can synthesize happiness even in less-than-ideal situations.
How to Improve Your Happiness: The Happy Management Plan
So, if we have control over 50% of our happiness, how do we improve it? The answer lies in creating and following a Happy Management Plan. Here’s how you can actively increase your level of happiness:
- Practice Gratitude: Regularly expressing gratitude is one of the most effective ways to increase your happiness. Start by writing down three things you are grateful for each day. These can be small things, like a warm cup of coffee, or larger things, like having supportive friends and family. This practice helps shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right in your life.
- Stay Mindful: Mindfulness allows you to stay present and enjoy the moment rather than ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. Incorporate simple mindfulness practices into your day, whether that’s through meditation, deep breathing, or just taking a few minutes to appreciate your surroundings.
- Cultivate Positive Relationships: Human connection plays a big role in our happiness. Spend time nurturing relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you.
- Move Your Body: Physical activity releases endorphins, the “feel-good” hormones that boost happiness. You don’t need to become a fitness fanatic, but regular movement, whether it’s walking, stretching, or dancing, can greatly improve your mood.
- Actively Reframe Negative Thoughts: When negative thoughts creep in, challenge them. Ask yourself if your thought is based on fact or emotion. Try to reframe the situation in a more positive or neutral light. Over time, this will help reduce pessimistic thinking patterns and cultivate a more optimistic outlook.
- Pursue Meaningful Goals: Engaging in activities that align with your values and passions can increase your sense of purpose, which in turn boosts happiness. Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you and find small ways to incorporate those values into your daily life.
How “Faking” Happiness Leads to Real Happiness
The idea of “faking” happiness may feel strange or even counterintuitive, but the science behind it is solid. The brain takes cues from your actions and thoughts. If you act as though you are happy — by smiling more, expressing gratitude, and looking for the positives — your brain starts to reinforce those patterns. Over time, what begins as “faking it” becomes genuine happiness.
This doesn’t mean ignoring or suppressing negative emotions. It’s important to acknowledge and process all emotions, including sadness, anger, or frustration. But by making a conscious effort to focus on happiness and adopt positive habits, you train your brain to lean into joy more easily. And the more you practice, the more natural it becomes.
Invest in Your Happiness
The bottom line is that happiness is a choice, and it’s one you can make daily. While genetics and external circumstances play a role, a significant portion of your happiness depends on your actions, habits, and mindset. By following a Happy Management Plan, you can improve your overall well-being and experience more joy in your life.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling down or disconnected from happiness, remember: you can synthesize your own happiness. Fake it until you’ve made it— because as far as your brain is concerned, happiness is happiness, whether it’s “faked” or not. The more you practice positive habits and focus on the good, the more you’ll find yourself experiencing genuine happiness. It’s not about pretending forever; it’s about creating the mental and emotional pathways that lead to lasting joy.